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We all die.
Sometimes voluntarily and sometimes involuntarily.
When you are dying or planning for your anticipated death, you are in charge.
If you need a partner you can trust, respect, and feel safe with to …  
  • Talk about the hard stuff like dying and the scary stuff about what is happening to your body
  • Listen to you talk aloud about the hard stuff. 
  • Take notes, take pictures, write stuff down.
  • Toss notes, pictures, and other stuff out! 
  • Create rituals. Ignore rituals.
  • Find a rabbi, priest, minister or celebrant with whom you connect. 
  • Help you find a sweet spot to nap, take a bath, or sleep uninterrupted. 
  • Talk about all the good stuff you want before you go. Plan that trip you’ve always dreamed about and ensure all the details are in place so it’s easy peasy!  
  • Help you plan your burial, cremation, aquamation,  where you’ll be sprinkled, or blown out of fireworks (which is my plan).
  • Read to you. Pick out readings, songs, jokes, movie clips, and/or stories.
  • Find you a reputable lawyer or CPA who listens well, is easy to understand and will help you formalize where your  belongings and money will go. Or won’t go.
  • Figure out the logistics: Who will know your passwords? Do your banking? Pay taxes? Pay the bill? Figure out insurance?  
  • Agree on the best person to love up your pets or send your grandbabies birthday presents.
  • Make the list of people to call when it happens, and figure out what they want said, when that person answers the phone.  
  • Remind your neighbors that chewing those well-intentioned casseroles is out, but a bowl of sherbet or a quiet sit would do the trick. 
  • Fend off those last minute, late to the “party” cousins, classmates or co-workers who require too much attention or energy. To let them know kindly and clearly, now may not be a good time.  
  • Assure you that what you ask for after you are gone, gets completed. And after you die, your wishes will be honored, as promised, will be discussed, and figured out and not left up to chance. 
  • Listen to you being sweet, kind, hard, difficult, cranky, vulnerable, and maybe cry. 
  • Hold your hand until the very end. Or make sure, as best they possibly can, that the person you want with them is there.

End of life doulas are partners who will do any or all of this. We do not judge your wishes, your plans or you. We don’t judge any of it. 

And yes, I have had the privilege to do these things with people I have loved. It would be a privilege, if you feel there is a fit, to do this with you. Call, email, or text me or ask someone you love to do it for you.

Grace holds a certificate from the International End of Life Doula Association INELDA

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